I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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