How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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