shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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