The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
