I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
