I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
