I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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