You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
FUCK WHALES
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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