Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
