smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
