I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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