threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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