It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
