so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
