Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
