sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
