I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
