i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
