So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
