if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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