Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She even gives head with a lisp.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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