I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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