Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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