SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
