Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
