so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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