We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
