Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
