It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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