so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
