And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When are your genitals available?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
