Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
