When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
