dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
