it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
