The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
