You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's like iHOP with fire
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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