i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
