did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
