dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
