Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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