You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
