Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
