I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
