I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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