His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
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Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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