I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
