She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
