He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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