Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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