How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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