Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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