You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
