Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
