It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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