Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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