Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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