Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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