i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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