Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The adults are the big ones right?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
