We're facebook friends in real life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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