i just wanna soil my oats bro
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
