I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
