i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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