Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
