I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
