sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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